It’s always said” when u are away from something or someone you realize its value the most”. The saying definitely holds true for me…………….
Born and brought up in a Sindhi family of Kanpur ,the first thing I detested was my name “Hema”.The name was definitely not after the dream girl of seventies “Hema Malini” rather it was after one of my old granny who was referred as heme ma(her son being Hemchand so she was known as Hems mother).
The second thing was the Sindhi language; always felt why we can not talk in Hindi at home like all my friends do.
Also, when somebody visited our house my grandpa was the first to order my mom to prepare pakoras. I hated them from the bottom of my heart and a question bubbled in my mind always “why pakoras for everyone? Is water not enough for the guests?”
Time passed by and I passed out the school as well as college.2006 was the year when the wedding bells rang for me. Mine, was a love marriage in a khatri family of U.P.
Getting married to the person you love is the dream of every girl. Even I was happy and exited but there was a twist in a story from here.
I got the first shock of my life when wedding ceremonies took place and I realized that the Sindhi feel was not there at all. For the first time I wanted things to happen as they do in all Sindi families. I craved for the Sindhi music, Sindhi dance steps, loud laughter and even the marriage ceremonies. We Sindhi have a ceremony where the bride is in a room and when the groom arrives there is a big curtain held by other girls of bride side and the curtain is raised only after giving some shagun.
It did not happen in my marriage since I got married in a khatri way and the regret is still alive.
After marriage, we moved to Delhi and the mode of communication was either English or Hindi. That was the time my ears longed to hear Sindhi words. I wished I could speak Sindhi with someone. Finally, I taught my hubby few Sindhi words like “sutho. chaa haal aaye.”
I also felt the urge to speak in Sindhi while shopping with my hubby and my mother in law. When we uttered words in Hindi or English the shopkeeper could understand everything and the tricks of bargaining failed. Had they known Sindhi we would have spoken in this secret code language and could successfully bargained.
And last not the least after 2 yrs of marriage I seem to miss the pakoras, Sindhi karhi and saai bhaaji, which my mother made and it’s only few day back when I asked her the recipes and she wondered. Though I did not give her any reasons I know it that for sure “my dil is truly Sindhi, and I love it for being that”
Hema Dhawan
Maiden name- Hema Manwani
Bangalore